


You've got the love

by Lenasjk



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Captain America: The First Avenger, Friendship/Love, I hate tags, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Protective Bucky Barnes, Steve Needs a Hug, both really, but not really, it's implied - Freeform, scared Bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-25 22:16:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4978597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lenasjk/pseuds/Lenasjk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky thinks Steve doesn't need him anymore. Steve never heard something so stupid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You've got the love

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiii, it's me again! :D  
> I hope you like this one, tbh I think this one is better than the last one, but well - you will be the judge of that ;)

Steve couldn’t find Bucky. Everyone were already asleep and just the few were sitting by the fire, but Barnes was nowhere to be seen. Steve got it. He needed some time alone after what happened with Zola, but Steve wished Bucky talked with him, especially that it’d been only three days and Bucky would barely look at him. 

He walked through the forest towards the river hoping he would find there his friend. Bucky mentioned earlier that even though it was quite the walk from the camp, the riverside was perfect for some peace and quiet.

When Steve got there he was pleased to see Bucky with his back turned to him sitting on a rock by the river. Bucky must heard him getting closer, because he tensed.

“You are a hard man to find, Barnes” Steve joked. “You could’ve told me you’re going here. You were right, it is a calming place.” 

Bucky didn’t relaxed nor he acknowledge Steve’s present. 

“Buck, what's going on?”

“Nothing” his voice was horse. “Just, leave me alone Stevie, get back to the camp” 

Steve frowned. He didn’t want to get back, not without Bucky. On the top of that he was getting annoyed, because Bucky kept sitting with his bach toward Steve. 

“I can see you're mad, tell me so I can help” he asked. 

“Help? Fucking funny,” Bucky snored. “I meant it. Go away I don't want to look at you.” 

Steve was hurt. He didn’t know what was happening.

“Bucky?” He tried to tell something, but all he could say was his friend’s name.

“Go!” Bucky screamed. He slightly turned his head towards Steve. “What is it you don't understand?! Go! You've got everything you've ever wanted, just go, Steve!”

“Why you don't even want to look at me?”

“Fuck. Fuck, fuck. Fuck! Because it hurts okay?!” Bucky stood up and now Steve could see how mad and hurt he was. “I've been tortured for days by Zola, days! And it still didn't hurt as much as what I'm feeling right now. You've got everything you've ever wanted - the body, the girl, respect, everything! I've got nothing. I don't even have my best friend anymore.”

Steve lost his words for a second. All he could do was looking into Bucky’s eyes. But he still didn’t understand what his friend meant.

“Bucky, what are you taking about? I am your best friend, always.”

“Are you? You sound like him but you sure as hell don't look like him.”

“I... You're jealous or something? Bucky, I don't understand!”

Bucky chuckled.

“Jealous? I wish I was jealous. But I'm fucking heartbroken, Stevie. Heartbroken. You're my best friend in the whole world, you're everything and you don't need me anymore. And  
I'm selfish, I am. You were never supposed to go to war you were supposed to be saved in Brooklyn” he stopped to take a deep breath. He smiled then but his lips were too crooked to even pretend it was a genuine smile.

“But you're here. Not sick, not daft, not colorblind. Perfect. You're perfect. And you don't need me anymore. So just go, Steve. Leave me alone, you're gonna do it sooner or later, so do me a favor and do it now.” 

Bucky’s last words were almost whispered. He tried not to release the tears that creeped into his eyes. Steve wasn’t that strong, though. He felt like crying since the beginning of their conversation and now he was openly crying. He couldn’t believe what he heard. He couldn’t understand how Bucky could say this. He felt like was to have an asthma attack.  
Steve didn’t notice when Bucky closed the space between them, but now he was by his side. Bucky sounded terrified, but he still tried to calm Steve who was struggling to hide his face in Bucky’s collarbone. 

“Stevie? Steve, darling, talk to me. Come on” he was stroking his friend’s back. “Deep breaths. You can do it, just breathe, everything's fine.”

“No, it's not. You don't want me anymore.”

“What?”

“You don't like how I look, you hate it!” Steve cried. “You can't even look at me.” 

Bucky was shocked. Steve understood it all differently. He tried to push Steve away, but it only made him clinging even more to Bucky

“Don’t be like that, Steve. Look at me” he commanded. Steve raised his puffy eyes to Bucky’s who looked now more grumpy than mad.

“You've got it all wrong, darling. You know I love you, you know that, don't even think otherwise. I will always love you.” Bucky took deep breath 

“But, fuck, Steve. I'm broken! Your dream was to join the army, I've never wanted this. I'm scared of my own shadow and I can't give you anything. And you're gonna realize that and then you'll leave me for agent carter or the army of both. And I won't survive this. I won't. I can survive being tortured but the thought of you leaving me makes me hopeless.”

Now it was Steve turn to look shocked. 

“You fucking asshole. You stupid dick!” he shouted. Steve pushed himself two steps from Bucky, so he could punch him in the shoulder. 

“How after all we've been through you could think this?! I love you, you're all I want and all I need. Because of this body I'm not sick which I'm grateful, because of this body I was able to save you which I'll forever be thankful for” he shook his face while looking at his friend with a small, sad smile. “If I didn't have you though... All of this would be pointless. You're it for me you self-depressing bastard."

Bucky was dumbstruck. He was aware of this. Of course he was, but being able to hear it was completely different thing. 

“I'm an idiot” he said after few seconds. 

“Yeah.”

“I still think you should go back to camp. You need sleep.”

“Stop thinking, nothing good happens when you do that. I'll leave you here and next thing I know you'll think I should marry Peggy” Steve joked. 

“Well...”

“Shut up. There is only one person I want to marry. I'm not allowed to do that so I'm not planning to marry anyone. You're stuck with me.”

“I love you” Bucky finally smiled for real. 

“I'm still mad at you.”

“God, I'm so in love with you.”

“Fuck off...” Steve blushed a little. “I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to say hi or something <3


End file.
